It was four days in a row now and my father hadn’t returned home! There was zero communication. I wish I could say I wasn’t worried. Yet there I was, worrying constantly, hoping and wishing things could be different. The Bible is very clear about worrying.
Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? (Matt 6:25, NKJV)
And it continues to say;
Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? (Matt 6:27)
Sometimes when you break things into small pieces, they’re easier to handle than looking at them as a whole. Mama Leila had been with us for a year and a half now. She was my dad’s fourth wife, after my mom and two others. Dad’s marriage with mom had sadly ended after he had turned violent and having illicit affairs outside of the marriage. It all came to a head when one night he all called us into the living room to tell us that he would be taking in another wife. Months before he forcefully packed mama out of the house because she stood her ground and said the Bible did not endorse polygamy. They would fight a lot. Mama would be full of bruises with a swollen face in the morning when she would wake up. Eventually, he finally sent her packing never to return.
In our country, a bill was passed a few years ago legalizing polygamy. This was a big challenge in our society especially when it came to Christian marriages. According to the Kenya Population and Housing Census, about 1.5 million Kenyans, or 10% of the married population are in polygamous marriages. This is a big societal and cultural challenge and it takes faith and strong, firm, devotion to the word of God to withstand it.
I didn’t know for how long I was going to hang onto this emotional equilibrium that I strove so hard to maintain. Frantic undertakings seemed to be my forte and only safety valve.
“Dad, can we talk?” I said with a trembling voice.
Daddy had returned that evening. I was so happy to see him. However, the look on his face was indecipherable! I loved my daddy so much. I had rooted myself in the word of God and understood that love was to be unconditional (Luke 6:32).
“What is it this time!” he angrily retorted.
In my hands was a tiny pink Bible.
“I want to share a Scripture with you, daddy. It’s been a while since we sat down and shared.” I responded.
He sat down so gently and asked me to go right ahead, and I knew that the Holy Spirit was working. I requested that we hold hands and pray before we talked, which he agreed to. It was only the two of us in the living room. My sister had gone to town and Mama Leila had gone to the market to get groceries. It was the perfect timing. I had fought this for some time, the Holy Spirit kept asking me to be the one to talk to daddy about the lifestyle he had acquired, of adultery and polygamy, which was not pleasing to God and a lot of things were already going wrong in his life as a result.
We lived up the hills of Kanyamedha, a small but serene little lovely village some miles from Kisumu Airport. The three-bedroomed house was still under construction. Our bedroom had no windows; the frames were patched with some old pieces of wood and a polyethylene bag to prevent rain from getting into the room. The floor was pure earthen. The toilets and bathroom hadn’t been worked at all so we would bath and use the outside pit latrine
‘The family can be a place of great happiness. It can also be the scene of terrible hurt,’ I began.
‘Mathew 19:8 says marriage was ordained by God in the garden of Eden. (Gen 2:18,21-24.) The Lord caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, took one of his ribs, and made it into a woman. Verse 25 says “and they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”‘
‘Notice the emphasis, the man and his wife, not wives. This is monogamy. This is what God established in the garden of Eden.’ I continued.
Daddy was listened quietly and looked at me as I spoke. I stood by the word of God. It was my only anchor. We had always studied these scriptures during lesson sessions at our local church and I hid them deep in my heart.
‘Daddy we love you so much,’ I said stretching my hands to touch his own.
‘The bible says to come boldly into the throne room of grace that you may obtain mercy. We need to separate ourselves from the things that do not please God. The word of God says seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these other things shall be added unto you. We need to study and meditate on the word of God. Everything that we will ever need in our lives, is wrapped up in the word of God. It is sin that separates us from God.’
‘We get so used to sin and doing wrong, yet things still go well with us so that we tend to think God is just cool with it. We take advantage of His grace.’ (Ecc 8:11)
‘The Bible asks, “should we continue in sin because grace abounds? Certainly not!”’
‘We need to carry our individual spiritual diagnoses to God. Offer true repentance and true repentance begins with total forgiveness. Identifying anyone that has ever hurt you, and you forgive them.’ I continued.
All the while, I noticed it was God speaking through me. I continued to heed the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I remembered 2 Tim 2:24 which says “a servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient n humility correcting those in opposition”. God was using me! I quickly summarized and we held hands and prayed again. Daddy stayed put on his seat for about an hour after that. Not a word!
I didn’t see any immediate changes at that point. His lifestyle remained the same for quite a while, but God was doing his work quietly.
It’s been more than 7 years since this encounter with my father. It took time but daddy is a minister of the gospel now. God gave him a new life. He is a strong believer and has received by faith the righteousness of Christ, thereby entering into a personal relationship with God. He serves God where he lives with his God-given family and 3 children. God in his unfathomable way, took away all those women from his life and separated them from him. Indeed, daddy was alone for almost four years before he met someone. They now both serve God at their church. Mama too is happily serving God. Her life is amazingly beautiful. Both of my parents now love and serve God deeply.
So many times, we are faced with circumstances that would want us to compromise our faith or be silent in the face of sin instead of standing with God. What do you do in such times?
I want to encourage you to stand for God! Stand for His word! Keep the faith! Trust the Holy Spirit to guide and direct you. Let the Bible be your standard especially in these perilous times. Prophecy is being fulfilled all around us. People are more and more each day becoming “lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people” (2 Tim 3:4-5, NIV).
When you stand for God. He doesn’t disappoint you. He says he will never let us be put to shame (Rom 10:11). He is not a man that he should lie, nor a son of man that he should make mistakes (Num 23:19). He watches over His word to perform it (Jer 1:12).
 All verses unless otherwise noted are from the New King James Version (NKJV) of the Bible.